The unflappable nanny

Looking for a nanny ? 
Here is what you should be hunting for. Don't miss her!

She is  fun, caring, gentle, super everything, lovely, wonderful, totally reliable and trustworthy, never raises her voice, vibrant, the best in the known universe,sets up playdates, has super powers when it comes to potty training,

superb cook (healthy too!), responsible, unflappable, dependable, loyal, flexible, super sweet, won't be texting at the playground, attentive, experienced, shows initiative, takes kids out rain or shine, amazing, ideal, plays with kids like a kid, calm, communicative, very mellow, energetic, dedicated, nurturing, calm as a Zen monk, never sick.....

This woman makes me sick.

So now, here is my question : 
Do you want to share her, hire her... rave about her or maybe marry her????
You've got it, she's a readymade Mum!

And the winner is............

and a new word for me is "unflappable"...simply not me!